How to Woo Cadpig
by Gordon Pasha
Summary: A new dog comes to Grutely and immediately falls for Cadpig. However, he discovers that trying to win her heart might just be a bit more trouble than it's worth. Can love truly conquer all or are some relationships just a bad idea? Cadpig's new suitor's about to find out the hard way.


**All characters of 101 Dalmatians: The Series are the property of Disney. I only claim ownership of the single character of my own invention.**

* * *

Jake wandered aimlessly down the road outside the small town of Grutely. He had just moved to the town with his parents and human family who, it should be mentioned, had never outgrown the habit of leaving the front gate slightly ajar. Jake had thus decided to give himself a tour of his new hometown. After walking for quite a while and now far from the town limits, he prepared to turn back when something caught his eye from the bushes. Turning quickly, he saw three Dalmatians and a chicken running across the road toward a large farm in the distance.

The first was or normal size, with black ears and a horse-shoe pattern on his back. The second was rotund and pudgy, but was for the most part having no trouble in keeping up with the group. The chicken was unusual in that she was of dark brown and beige coloring but its most bizarre feature was that it had a number of black spots like those found on the Dalmatians. Jake found none of this particularly interesting; after all, what did the business of these dogs and chicken concern him? Then he saw her. The last Dalmatian was much smaller than the rest, about Jake's height (he was, it should be noted, a West Highland white terrier, and a rather tall one at that), with a large ovular head and exceptionally long ears hanging down behind it. Jake had not been paying much attention to the other dog's eyes, but he was immediately drawn to the serenely blue color of this one's. He was not sure how long he watched her for, but it could have been no more than a few seconds. Yet, he could already feel himself falling in love with her. As the four began to move out of sight, Jake resolved that he would follow them.

They ran so fast that he found it difficult to keep up. He was worried about keeping out of sight, but none of them ever bothered looking back. He could tell that they were running from something, but could not for the life of him figure out what. Had anybody else been chasing them, Jake was certain that he would have bumped into them as well. Finally, the long pursuit led him to the rather large farm. Jake did not notice much, being too concerned with following the four, but did see a house, a pig-sty, stables, and a chicken-coup as he ran past them. However, as they neared a large barn, the four scurried into the structure through the branch of a nearby tree and Jake, having run so far, did not feel that he could immediately follow. He thus chose to sit at the base and catch his breath.

"Hi there! I don't remember seeing you around before. Then again, maybe I do. No, not coming up with anything."

Jake looked up. Standing before him was another Dalmatian. She was rather plump with green eyes and an earring (Where could she get that?) but her most noticeable feature was the fact that, while her front half was the standard white, her back half was almost completely black.

"Yeah, I just moved to Grutely and I'm doing a bit of exploring, ya know?"

"Awesome! I'm Two-Tone and this is Dearly Farm. What's your name?"

"Jake."

"Well, Jake, I'll have to show you around."

Jake thought about how he would rather be shown around by the female who had passed him earlier but he said nothing about it.

"Come on, I'll introduce you to everybody!" That was more to Jake's liking, as he was now sure to meet the girl. He agreed and they were soon off.

"So, what's that barn used for?" Jake asked.

"Oh, that's where we live."

"We?" Jake could guess who she was referring to but thought it best to appear ignorant.

"Me, my brothers, and my sisters."

Jake felt he was getting somewhere. "And how many of there are you?"

"Ninety-nine," Two-Tone said with sincere innocence. "Mom and Dad make one-hundred and one."

"One-Hundred One! You're joking, right?"

"No."

"You couldn't have all been born at the same time!"

"No, most of us are adopted. Mom and Dad originally had only fifteen."

"And then adopted the rest? That seems a bit much for any parent."

"Well, its' not just like that, either. You see, we were all kidnapped by Cruella DeVil, she lives up in that mansion over there, so that she could make a fur coat out of us. Mom and Dad rescued us and, since they couldn't figure out where we all came from, just decided to keep us all."

"One-Hundred and One Dalmatians. It all sounds like I've landed in a Disney movie."

Two-Tone shrugged, not knowing what to make of that. "Well come on. We can't be sitting around all day. At least, I think that's what we're doing."  
Two-Tone continued to show Jake around. She showed him the chicken coup. She showed him the stables. She showed him the pig-sty and introduced him to the Mayor. She showed him the Dearly Farmhouse. She showed him Hiccup Hole and the Colonel's railcar. She showed him everything except the barn.

Finally, as the sun began to set and Two-Tone had made sure that he had met everybody else she could think of (or at least those who did not split her mind as soon as she remembered them, and there were many of those indeed), they entered to the barn. Jake's heart jumped as he walked inside, but as he looked from Dalmatian to Dalmatian, he could not see the one he had hoped to see. Trying to keep himself calm and collected, he followed Two-Tone as she introduced him to a number of the other Dalmatians, though he suspected that his lack of interest was beginning to show. Finally he came up to two of the Dalmatians and the chicken he had seen earlier but not, to his great disappointment, the one he was looking for.

"Lucky, Rolly, Spot, this is Jake," Two-Tone said. "He's just moved to Grutely and I was showing him around."

"Hi, I'm Lucky," said the one with the horse-shoe pattern.

"I'm Rolly," said the rotund one.

"And I'm-m-m Spot," said the chicken.

Jake responded with a greeting of his own.

"Where's Cadpig?" Two-Tone asked.

Jake's heart lifted. "Cadpig – that might be her," he thought.

"Oh, she went off to meditate," Lucky said. "She should be back soon."

Jake knew his parents and his pets would be worried about him, but he chose to remain. He simply had to meet this girl.

Finally, she entered the barn. Jake noticed her immediately, but Two-Tone was busy talking to another one of the Dalmatians. Jake fidgeted a little, waiting for Two-Tone to be done, but it did not seem that she even remembered that he was there. Thus, Jake decided to take the initiative and ran after the girl.

She was moving very quickly toward her friends by the television set and Jake wanted to catch her before she met up with them. He pushed past several Dalmatians in his attempt to reach her, though he soon lost sight of her in the black-and-white crowd. He kept running in her general direction, hoping to reach her, until suddenly he crashed right into another dog. Picking himself up, he saw the girl, her serenely blue eyes now fixed into an icy glare.

"Why don't you watch where you're going!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. The rest of the barn took no notice. Apparently this was a common event.

Jake, attempting to diffuse the situation, responded, "Hi, um, you're Cadpig, right?"

The expression on the girl's face quickly changed from anger to bemusement. "Yes, why?" She now noticed for the first time that this was not one of her siblings or the other dogs which lived around the farm.

"Well, um, I'm Jake and I just moved to Grutely and I was just looking around and I just came to your farm and–"

"Now, Jake, we all have to express ourselves in our own way – but spit it out!"

"Okay, I just thought that maybe we could talk some time."

"Talk?"

"You know, that is if you want to. I mean, if you don't want to, that's fine, I guess. I mean–"

"What's your sign?"

"Huh?"

"What's your sign?" Cadpig was now riffling through a newspaper to find the horoscope section.

"Oh, I remember being told that once. What was it? That's right, Ophiuchus."

"Huh?"

"Ophiuchus."

"There's no Ophiuchus listed."

"Well, I'm telling you I'm an Ophiuchus."

"Whatever," Cadpig said as she tore up the newspaper in frustration. She proceeded to walk past Jake and to her friends without saying another word.

Jake ran up to Two-Tone. "Where'd you get to?" she asked.

"Oh, I was just speaking to Cadpig."

"She finally made it? And you already met her?"

"Um, yeah."

"Well, that's great! Or maybe it isn't. With Cadpig you never can tell."

"Look, can I ask you something? Cadpig, what does she do in the morning?"

"What does she do? Why?"

"It's just that I want to surprise her tomorrow, you know?"

"Again, why?"

"It just seems, you know, to be the neighborly thing to do and all." Jake smiled, full of embarrassment.  
"Ohhhh! I see." Two-Tone gave him a wink. "In that case, she usually goes down to meditate by Hiccup Hole around sunrise."

"Sunrise, got it. You won't tell anybody, will you? I don't want people to, you know, get the wrong idea."

"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone." Two-Tone gave him another wink as he hurried off. Jake had a feeling that he could not exactly trust that sentiment.

Lucky, Cadpig, Rolly, and Spot moved to their hangout on the barn's second floor just in time to see Jake run out.

"Who was that?" Cadpig asked.

"Some new dog who just moved to Grutely," Lucky said just before nodding off to sleep.

"Yeah, he's been hanging out with Two-Tone all day," Rolly added sleepily.

"Huh, he sure is weird," Cadpig said.

"Yeah, b-b-but you know the kind of p-p-people Two-Tone brings around," Spot responded.

"I guess you're right," was Cadpig's reply as she lay down to go to sleep.

* * *

The sun rose slowly over Dearly Farm as Jake arrived at Hiccup Hole. He had set out in the last hours of night, having chosen to forgo dinner so that he would have something to bring. Despite his early start, he had fear that he might not reach Hiccup Hole before Cadpig. His fear, as it turned out, was justified, for as soon as he arrived, he heard the sound of a female whistling. Jake jumped into the bushes just as Cadpig appeared over a hill. Cadpig sat down next to the small lake and began meditating silently. Jake waited for his chance.

After waiting for what seemed like a very long time, Jake decided that he had to make a move. 'It's now or never,' he thought. Summoning his courage, Jake leaped out of the bush, bowl in mouth, and began running toward Cadpig. This incautious jaunt was brought to a halt by a small rock which, despite its size, was able to mess up Jake's footing and cause him to go flying. Cadpig barely had time to open her eyes before being smacked straight into the water along with Jake.

A short time later, Jake swam to the surface, sans bowl, and wagged the water from his eyes. Looking around, he saw Cadpig, floating right next to him, soaking wet, and angry.

"Look, I can explain," Jake said. "I was just bringing my bowl and I kinda got distracted."

"What bowl?"

Jake realized that he had lost it. But before he could say words to that effect he was clocked by a right hook and sent flying back in the direction he had come. He continued soaring for miles before landing right at Two-Tone's paws.

"How'd it go?" she asked.

"I thought it went well," Jake said before lapsing into unconsciousness.

* * *

Jake sat on an empty tree stump, once again considering what he could do to woo Cadpig. As he did so, he lazily looked upon the Dalmatians running through another of Lieutenant Pug's obstacle courses. Suddenly, he noticed Cadpig running along with them. Recognizing an opportunity, though he saw not what it was, Jake jumped from his stump and began running toward her.

"If I could just pretend that I just bumped into her while out walking, she would be more receptive," he thought.

The other dogs, and overall appearance of their run, left his mind completely. Soon, he was down to the small dirt road, and he ran out in front of Cadpig. He did not, however, anticipate the little dog's pace, and she was unable to stop in time before hitting him once again. Before either could rise from the ground, Lieutenant Pug came along.

"On your feet, Pig-dog," he yelled, "that's an extra five laps for laziness!"

After he left, Cadpig glared at Jake once again.

"Hehe," Jake said, "We've gotta, um, stop meeting like this?"

Cadpig said nothing; she merely punched him once again, sending him flying. Jake landed several feet away. "Well, her fist was receptive, at least!" he said before passing out.

* * *

As the sun began to set, two figures slowly crept toward Dearly Farm. One was tall and astonishingly slender while the other was his exact opposite; short and very round. Their clothes were identical, shirts, suspenders, and caps, except for being in different colors, the tall one favoring drab grays and blues while the smaller preferred orange and green.

"Jasper," said the short one, "what are we doing here again?"

"I've told you this a million times, Horace. The boss wants us to plant these explosives around that tower so that it will come down so that the Dearlies'll think the ground is too unstable and sell."

"Didn't we do that yesterday, when those puppies messed everything up."

"No, no, no. That was when we were trying to make it look like a herd of runaway tractors were heading toward their house."

Horace and Jasper crept over to the chow-tower and carefully began placing the explosives. Inside the barn, the night's episode of "Thunderbolt P.I." was coming to an end.

"Man, that episode was one of the best!" Lucky proclaimed in excitement, "Did you see how Thunderbolt jumped over that mine-cart and took out two bad guys at once?"

"Yes, Lucky," Rolly said with visible disinterest.

"And if we didn't, we'd have seen it the past four-hundred times," Spot added.

The three waited, but Cadpig's expected retort did not come. They looked over to see her staring at the other side of the barn.

"What's the problem, sis?" Lucky asked.

"It's just that, that guy over there," Cadpig motioned toward Jake, sitting sulkily by the door, "has been following me all day. It's really making me nervous."

"Aw, it's nothing to worry about," Rolly said as he changed the television to the Gravy Channel™. "He'd be crazy to mess with you."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Cadpig said, her eyes burning with rage as she turned to face her brother.

"Um, nothing." Rolly smiled sheepishly.

"Look," Lucky said, "It's really nothing to worry about. He just likes you, that's all."

Cadpig's anger was replaced by confusion. "He… likes me? What do you mean?"

"Can't you see it?"

"See what?"

Lucky smirked. "He's got a crush on you. The whole farm's been talking about it. You really haven't heard?"

"No. If you're joking, Lucky, its' not funny."

"I'm serious, he told Two-Tone and she's been telling everybody."

"A crush… on me? It can't be!" Cadpig shook her head. "He doesn't even know me!"

"Hey, aren't you the one who's always going on about 'love at first sight.' "

"Well…"

"Anyway, don't sweat it. If you don't believe me, just ask him yourself."

"I don't know…"

"Well, suit yourself." Lucky walked away and went to take a nap.

Cadpig just stared at Jake with bemusement for a second before settling down to sleep as well.

* * *

As all of the Dalmatian pups settled down for the night, Jake decided to excuse himself. He walked out of the barn dejectedly.

"What a day," he said to himself, "Cadpig thinks I'm a nut and the whole farm can't stop bringing it up."

As he walked past the chow tower, he took time off from pitying himself to witness Horace and Jasper blunderingly setting up their bombs. Acting more on instinct than on anything, he proceeded to let out several loud barks. This raised the attention of the sleeping Dalmatians who, faster than it would have been thought possible, charged out of the barn and began barking as well. Horace and Jasper, understandably startled, begin running off. However, they soon fell to the ground in a tangle of wires. While struggling to free themselves and avoid the oncoming Dalmatian horde, the duo accidentally pulled out some random wires, causing the countdown to detonation to begin.

"She's gonna blow!" a nameless Dalmatian called out.

"Everybody, let's get out of here!" Lucky yelled.

The Dalmatians scattered in every direction, allowing the finally untangled Horace and Jasper to sneak away – by running for the hills and screaming like crazy. Cadpig was herself running to escape the blast area when she suddenly fell to the ground. Looking back, she saw that one of her rear paws was caught in a hole. She frantically tried to remove it, but it wouldn't budge.

Jake followed the Dalmatians as they cleared the area, and soon he stood among the large circle they had made at a safe distance from the tower. Gasping for breath, he surveyed the deserted area, his eyes coming upon the sight of Cadpig desperately trying to remove her paw.

"Cadpig!" he yelled.

Jake proceeded to dash into the abandoned area, quickly arriving at Cadpig's location.

"Here, I'll help you!" he said.

"My foot, it won't come out!" she yelled.

Jake began trying to pull Cadpig out of the hole, but even their combined strength could not get her loose. At that moment, the countdown reached zero and the bombs exploded, causing the tower to begin falling downward, right toward Jake and Cadpig.

"It's no use!" Cadpig said. "You won't be able to get it out!"

"I'm not leaving you!" Jake replied.

"I don't want you to leave–"

"Really? That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!"

"Just get somebody else to help pull me out!"

"We don't have time! It's coming down!" Jake promptly pushed Cadpig to the ground and resolved to block as much of the tower from her as he could. He stood boldly, and looked upon the falling structure with stalwart determination. The tower fell to the ground, sending dust and debris flying for miles.

"Nobody could have survived that," Lucky said as the Dalmatians began running toward the rubble. As they climbed through, looking for any signs of life, the dust cleared to reveal Jake and Cadpig. Jake stood just the same as before, while Cadpig was just beginning to get up and survey her surroundings. Looking around, she saw that, by fortuitous chance, they were in the exact spot where the chow tower's open window came down, and thus were saved. It took a second for Jake to realize this.

"We're alive…" he said. He then turned around to see Cadpig glaring at him. Jake winced and readied himself for the expected impact.

"That's… the nicest thing you've ever done for me!" she said.

"Really?"

"Yes!" Cadpig leaned forward and gave Jake a kiss. As they kissed, Cadpig's paw finally came free. The remaining Dalmatians cheered the new couple's survival.

"Come on," Cadpig said. "Let's go talk about your sign."

"I thought you couldn't find it," Jake said.

"Oh, I'll think of something."

The couple proceeded to set out along the rolling hills, illuminated by only the light of the full moon above.


End file.
